You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
