I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
