have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think my nap took me to another dimension
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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