Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
