so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
