so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
