i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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