I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
