I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
