how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
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See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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