I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Is it penis luge time yet?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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