You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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