I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
