I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He did a backflip because drugs
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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