i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
