I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
