I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
