where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
