Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
