I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
