Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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