I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All the doctor said was why
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize