Kiss
Puke
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
