We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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