The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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