Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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