dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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