I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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