Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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