You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
