Whod you bang
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
