i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize