Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
