Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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