so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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