i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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