K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
