At least make sure they are 18
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n