I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You can't special order awesome
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I supernannyed him into submission