sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.