found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.