I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.