Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
