Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize