Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
