i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
