Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
