go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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