did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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