I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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