3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My feet surprised me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
