it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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