Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
