Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
