wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
