We're facebook friends in real life
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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