So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
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My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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