if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
