I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
