I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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