Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
